Before choosing for someone, ask them

By Dr. Salem Abdullah Al Nuaimi

Community awareness · 17 October 2026

A family outing can begin with good intentions: we choose the time, decide where to go and arrange everything, then tell an older relative the plan. Yet one question can be missing: what would you prefer?

A question creates room for participation

Supporting older people includes listening to preferences alongside meeting needs. A calm, direct question allows a person to express a wish that may differ from our expectations: a shorter visit, staying at home or meeting a particular person.

Three steps before deciding

1. Explain the options: describe the place, time and what the activity involves, leaving room for another suggestion.
2. Allow time to respond: avoid rushing or finishing the answer for the person. If their preference is unclear, rephrase the question simply.
3. Agree on practical arrangements: discuss transport, rest breaks or a companion chosen by the person.

When preferences differ

Explain specific concerns, listen to the person’s perspective and look together for an acceptable arrangement. Where a decision needs a health assessment or specialist support, involve an appropriate professional while keeping the person part of the discussion as far as they are able.

Something to try today

Before the next visit, ask: “Where would you like to go, and when would suit you?” Let the answer shape the plan. A question matters when the person can see that their voice affects what happens.

Participation begins in small, repeated moments. Listening with care makes everyday relationships more respectful and connected.

General awareness article; it does not interpret a specific legal provision.